12 April 2018

miss saigon: all the things i love about theatre in one play

most of you might know broadway/west-end from hits musical such as chicago, wicked, even book of mormon. well, even if you've never seen the play directly (heck most of them are routinely played only in new york or london), you must at the very least recognize the songs. but have you ever heard of miss saigon? no? i won't blame you for that.

so i know miss saigon firstly from my dad. he mentioned it somehow in some period of my life, i'm not sure when or where. he works in theatre biz, that's how he knows at the first place. then i was very lucky to have a chance to go visit new york and see broadway production for the very first time of my life last december *yaay! then, of course, i didn't go allll the way to new york only to see one play.

first play i saw, classic: chicago. also, because todrick was in it *YEAYY. turns out it was.... meh. it's ok, but not 'great.' but still, it was a first time anyway so i was wayyy excited, especially when todrick came on stage *AAAGGGHH

then the second day i was comparing one brochure to another. i would love to see book of mormon, but andrew ranells' not in it anymore, and they've got book of mormon in london. wicked, les mis, phantom, no. aladdin, big no. they're all playing in london anyways. so which one?!

then i saw that there were two plays that were closing soon: cats and miss saigon. i remember nino, my brother. he really loved cats the musical when we were little while it didn't impress me much. i didn't remember what it was all about, i only remember people in cats costume dancing and singing, and of course, the song memory. miss saigon, of course i remember my father. he really loved that play, and i have never heard anything, like literally anything about it. not even in glee lol.

so i took a bold choice: i'm seeing miss saigon!


one of my favourite scene, aaaagghh!

chicago is nothing, NOTHINGG compared to this play. the set, the story, the talent, EVERYTHING. the ticket was even cheaper and i've got a lot better seating than i expected! i was ALMOST late but thankfully i wasn't!

the play took place during the vietnam war. it was opened with chaos in a village and a girl in white dress got 'saved' by someone who calls himself the 'engineer' - who is apparently a pimp. the song 'heat in saigon' broke the chaos feel perfectly, oh-my-god. the cue was perfect, every light was on in the exact precision with the music, and the chaos turned into.. well.. another form of chaos in a brothel, lol.

then came this confused american soldier named chris. his friend 'bought' this girl in the white dress for him, and the drama starts. it was.... pretty boring about the first hour after the 'magical' opening. but then entered my favourite scene: the remembrance day of the unification of vietnam. the setting was soooo good. the feel, the music, everything. the audience were brought back to a strong 'communism-feel like music' with amazing martial arts choreography, even a liong, the chinese dragon act!

and the story goes.. it was not a happy ending and dreamy story as it was pictured in the beginning. it was totally a tragedy. and the more i think about it, the more i learn about the facts that really was happening during and after the vietnam war, which could be elaborated into few points:

  1. young soldiers were involuntarily drafted to the war. to a place they never even knew existed.
  2. the US retreated. the soldiers were sent back home.
  3. these young soldiers left the young girls they met during their 'placement' with children.
  4. the children got harassed after the war ended. children with 'western' complexion were seen as traitor, bringing bad luck, etc. as most of them were conceived to be born from a soldier and a prostitute. while their only 'sin' was being born.
  5. america then made an agreement, that people with these complexion are allowed to have a US citizenship. this, again, brought chaos as people were trying hard to leave vietnam for a US citizenship. some of them tried to be someone else's 'family.' hence, believe it or not, there was a time when flights full with kids and babies were flown to the USA.
  6. the soldiers? they experienced PTSD, anxiety, etc. and not treated that well either back home. they were seen as 'peace offender' from the people who were against the war, and as a 'failure' from the people who were rooting for the war.

all these complexities were beautifully captured in this 2 hours and 40 minutes play. this is a play of no 'happy-go-lucky' songs, they were all depressing in some way. even the 'happy' song! oh-my-god i couldn't get over it, i just couldn't!

and the talent, oh-my-god, the talent. eva noblezada and allistair brammer was per-fect. per-fect. jon jon briones, of course, pictured the engineer really well as it really WAS his key role in broadway. rachelle ann go, too, left a marvellous feel even for a slight 8-10 minutes in the beginning of the play. it-was-awesome.

then the play came to the UK! and i found someone who i could watch plays with: imammanda! after some convincing he agreed to watch miss saigon with me in manchester AND HE CRIED. HE LITERALLY CRIED, like who didn't?! and he loveddd it. and by the second time i watched it, even with different casts, i was again moved. and i learned even more, and i started to do a litte 'research' about this play, and found even more intriguing facts.

well, shortly. you've got the whole story, which was based on an actual event in history. you've got beautiful music. you've got the talent. and you've got...... i would really love to tell you of the whole plot, but simply it was a love triangle, and everyone, i repeat, everyone got hurt. in the most different way possible. the first time i saw it i thought only two of them were hurt, but by the second time, i realized the third one... also got hurt, and the only 'sin' of this person was being there.

simply, when you have miss saigon, come see it! i would really, really hate it if it needed to be closed down. really.

25 Januari 2018

a realist dreamer

gue abis nonton the greatest showman.

for the sole reason of dia bagus banget dan serius banget garap numbersnya.

i really am a sucker for musicals. gilak. walau dari segi cerita.. ya udah aja. tapi ya. ada lah, beberapa numbers yang gue pengen bediri terus ikut nyanyi. hahaha. i miss my time in glorify. cie. hahaha.

gue ini bukan aktris ya. namun namanya dunia, dunia ini panggung terbaik bagi kita, ya toh? terserah, ada yang memakai waktunya untuk bersandiwara, ada yang lebih nyaman keeping it real. kalau kamu kenal saya, kamu mestinya tau, saya yang mana.

kemaren gw abis ngobrol banyak donk, sama rahmia. seneng deh. satu hal yang gue syukuri dari 'memaksakan' diri untuk tetep ikut ppi uk adalah, ketemu orang" yang pandangan hidupnya beririsan atau mirip". bener kata mba nida, makin dewasa, teman" kita makin menggambarkan siapa kita.

menurut mia, ada beberapa orang yang berada di suatu tempat, tanpa keinginan tertentu, tapi ya emang dia mesti ada di situ. sementara banyak orang yang mau posisi itu dan ga bisa punya, orang ini malah dapet. dan gue terhenyak. hahaha.

kalau gue flashback ke kehidupan gue sejak SMA, list leadership gue.. banyak sih, haha. dan dari semua itu, satu-satunya kepemimpinan di mana gue literally mencalonkan diri adalah saat gue jadi ketua Persekutuan Oikumene (kerohanian kristen) di SMA gw. lainnya, rikues masyarakat. halah :'')

ketua pencinta alam, dicalonkan. wakil ketua buku tahunan, dicalonkan jadi ketua, tapi gue menolak dan lebih pilih jadi wakil aja - i have had enough kata 'ketua' by then. kadiv acara kecil"an himpunan, dicalonin sampe 2x, tapi di yang kedua gw nolak dan menyerahkan tongkat ke orang lain yang juga gue anggap kompeten. ketua orienteering, dicalonkan. kadiv karya di IMG, dicalonkan, dan itu divisi yang masa itu benar-benar baru, jadi mostly program gue ngarang from scratch or at least rebranding. ketua PPI Brest, dicalonkan. kadiv pendidikan PPI Prancis, dicalonkan. wakil ketua OKTI, kompetisi paper tahunannya PPI Prancis, dicalonkan, walau jalur komandonya jadi aneh but we simply did not have enough people by then. hingga sekarang, kadiv kastrat PPI UK merangkap ketua ISIC, dicalonkan.

itu kalo kerjaan gue ada gajinya, kaya raya kali ya? coz i always did good, mwahahah.

tapi kalau ditanya, kepentingan gue apa, untungnya gue ngerjain semua itu apa.. gue ga bisa jawab lah :'')

my sole reason is to make everyone happy. they said you can't make everyone happy, well, i am aiming for the right people to be happy. and i always did.

saking terbiasanya gue hidup buat orang lain, kadang gue suka lupa hidup buat diri sendiri. mau-maunya gue ini ya apa hahaha. tapi yah, gimana yah. selama kerjaan itu enjoyable dan punya hasil yang pol"an ya kenapa ga dikerjain sih.

memang, klise sih, kalau kita mengharapkan sesuatu dari semua yang kita kerjakan. yang dulu senior" sering bilang, kita dapet teman. well.... berapa kali sih gue ketemu teman" sekerja gue selama setahun? sama siapa sih gue bisa cerita kalau sakit kepala?

terus dapet pengalaman organisasi, bla bla bla. well, pekerjaan yang gue ingin lakukan, rasanya ga terlalu butuh pengalaman organisasi. people will more likely hire me because of my journals than my leadership experiences.

and why am i still doing this?

i know, i can always say no. but, meminjam kata" P. T. Barnum, i'm a showman.

give me a stage and i'll dance. i'll make people laugh. all those work.. is solely because, i wanna see people smile. i wanna see the people i work with proud of themselves and what they have achieved. gue, gue bukan siapa". tapi gue bisa bikin mereka jadi seseorang. karena dipercaya itu, perasaan yang ga bisa digantikan dengan hal lain. haha.

jadi kembali kepada cita" di awal.

i wanna make everyone happy. at least, the right ones.

moreover, i want my team to be proud of themselves. of what they did. what they have become by the end of my leadership. and that, will always make me happy :)

28 November 2017

it's all for the best!

i'm soooo excited!

i've got:

1) my AGU poster 'due date' which i set for myself this thurs, 30/11.
2) leeds' fellowship christmas worship and celebration this sat, 02/12.
3) bhangra audition vid for the national comp this sun, 03/12.
4) my f***in huuuuge AGU poster will be printed max next wed 06/12.
5) I'M GOING TO F***IN AMERICA on 09/12!!! GAAHHHH!!!!
you know what, i'm tired :'')

oh, i have not said anything about PPI UK just yet but I AM SOOO BLESSED with such AMAZING members in my dept! yes i MEAN it! :D

but hopefully all of those crazy activities are worth it. i am a lot happier this day of the year than last year. like, a lot.

one reason to be happy :) picture taken by jaspal

dear Lord,

i do not ask for much this end of year. just please, please make me go through this last month, i.e. december, healthy. yep, healthy. that is all i am asking for. i'll try to eat good, drink vitamins, and not knock myself off. i know that i do not own the power, but You yourself who own it. if you want it so be it. may my single life #ay! be a blessing to each and everyone who are in my proximity :'')


anw i found a really good post of mine, which i posted like 5 years ago. read it here! here's a snippet of what i wrote: "Tuhan ga menciptakan gw karena iseng, Dia menciptakan gw dengan rencana. gw hanya harus mengenal Dia lebih lagi untuk bener" tau apa yang Dia mau gw lakukan dalam hidup ini."
(Alodia, 2012)

03 Oktober 2017


nulis bhs endonesa gapapa yaaaaa some shitty stuff is on the way soalnya, memalukan bangsa dan negara kalok gue nulisnya enggris :'')

sooo aku sudah tahun kedua! sudah cukup lama sebenarnya, namun progress projek masih lamban. selain karena running-an kadang takes time, my head juga suka suka aja gitu hidupnya. malassssss kerja terus"an. progress ada, pasti. pokoknya harian ada target tercapai walau sangat kecil. sedikit lebih baik dari tidak sama sekali! namun...

sejak aku ngasisten, semua berubah! hahaha.

jadi gue ngasisten dua modul at least sampe akhir okt: geodynamics, dan... fundamentals of geophysics.


jadi untuk modul tersebut, aslinya gue apply buat modul lain yang basically ngasistennya adalah ya praktikum matlab. bisa donk gue. jago donk. asik asik joss. namun si module leadernya malah menawarkan "kalo fundamentals of geophysics aja, mau ngga? gue butuh asisten banyak di sini." terus gue pede iya-in. i mean, ini matkul undergrad, what could go wrong.....

...or could it? lol.

oke, tutorial pertama: ..what have i gotten myself into.

isinya persamaan persamaan gitu HAHAHAHAHA JENIUS. simple sebenernya, gue pernah ngerjain itu, pernah banget, BUT HOWWW.


karena matkul lain, si plate tectonics, materinya cenderung lebih simple, tapi waktu interaksinya 2 jam. and-oh-it-was-a-lot-better. jadi gue bener" bisa ngobrol, jelasin satu", kalo salah dikit bisa "oop sorry it should be begini begini." LAH INI. salah dikit i will tell myself "DAMN I FUCKED UPP" berlanjut pengen jedotin kepala ke tembok. ntahlah. tatapan tatapan demanding para dedek dedek menekan batinku hahaha.

dan somehow, gue jadi lebih fokus utk belajar bahan" buat ngasisten. worst part is: i actually enjoyed it :''')

jadi kayak, waktu gue untuk ngerjain projek jadi berkurang, mostly gue fokus belajar dan mengajar, walau secara kontrak waktu belajar mengajar gue itu hanya 5.5 jam/minggu (termasuk persiapan) but i absolutely spent more on preparation. A LOT MORE. terutama buat si fundamentals of geophysics. rusuh bro! hahaha.

dan buruknya lagi, ini anak" dibagi dalam 3 grup. tiap grup dpt tutor yang beda". GUE TAKUT DITINGGAL MAHASISWA :'''( takut mereka prefer tutor lain. gatauuuuu kenapa si gue :'')

oke i need to have my harga diri back. i might screwed up, but slowly i won't. pelan. pelan. ku akan membuat mereka mengerti, dan jika mereka benar pergi, mereka akan menyesallllllll!!!! ahahaha apa sih.

oke sekian hari ini.

12 September 2017

new (academic) year

i do romanticize about this place lately.. missing it.. and the people in it.. (alodia, 2013)

when i wrote down the caption i was like, what, 2013? four years already?! :'')

it's never enough isn't it? lol.

i'd like to talk about how i feel about life right now, and how i am in a very, very comfortable position. even though there are still times when i'd like to bang my head to the wall. still many, many times.

new academic year! phew. i need to get used to having so many people around, again. i really like these past few months. well, since june to be honest. not many people around at work, only interacting with people i am used to interacting with, nothing crazy. but i do like these past few days, especially.

so i randomly took a first aid certification. to be honest, i am not in the state when i've got much money but hey, this is a moment. so spent 80 bucks for a full 2-day training, and it was worth it. it was one of the best training i have ever had and so much fun! i am so happy taking that opportunity. i can't emphasize it more.

the first year was great. not excellent, but great. four out of five. i did what i wanted to do, and i know where i'd like to belong. ..kind of :) and i am starting to teach this semester, yaay! no biggie, not many hours, just a way to kick off my skills.

skills, skills. cool, huh?

after interacting with more and more people here, i don't think age matter anymore. i met phd students with much older age than me who are still doing stuff with undergrads, i met masters students who are also older than me but still willing to learn, i met really, really wonderful undergrads with lots of skills and compassion. and again, that realization that 'a job is just a job' came.

funny story. i was talking to a friend about jobs the other day. he is graduating his masters and applying for a job here and there. i told him, i've still got 2-3 years here, i'm not applying these times. and voila, there's an opening for 17.400 governmental position (so-called PNS) starting from this day! boom!

what's so funny about that? well, the only job that i really, really want is to be a lecturer in ITB. still. from. 2010. to. now. nothing changed. i talked to my other friends about the processes: we HAVE to choose only ONE position and basically, once you're in you're in. no career change whatsoever...

...not so motivating, eh?

i went through the application and found soooo many 'geodesi' here and there. hmm. this must be from multiple universities. but only ONE, or maximum two, will be accepted in each institution. and VOILA! NO GEODESY FOR ITB! :''')

i was SOOO HAPPY that i didn't HAVE to go home AGAIN lololololllll. i don't want to miss my first weeks here, teaching students, volunteering for GOGA, bhangra practices, too many things to miss out!

the other day dian sent me that there IS an opening (non-governmental...ish?) for geodesy in ITB. only one. for PhD. well i'm not down with that, just yet. i know some people who are currently more qualified. it would be a waste of time and money to do that now anyway. oh, why was i worried about the PNS thingy? because the qualification was 'only' a masters degree :'') didn't want to miss that out.

and... yea. age does not matter. indonesians are used to posting old pictures with "some kgs ago" or "when i was skinny" ...stuff like that. but isn't it basically our fault, if we didn't maintain our own body? me too, i was lazy AF when i was in undergrad. i have just realized the importance of our own fitness since the start of my phd! i am a 25+ now, i realize how my body is wearing out, but i see older people who still maintain their health by doing sports and eating healthy. that's how i want my life to be!

not only physically, mentally. youth mentality is super duper important. always open to something new, not closing up, the will to explore. isn't that the thing we need to survive? and yea, i do need to save money for my future. short-term, probably. i spent most of my money for my dreams last year so these two coming years, the goal is to save, as i am not able to gain just yet.

so yea. second year phd, here i come :)
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