25 Juni 2015

only between us

i went to paris yesterday, another 5-hour-long journey multiplied by two, as it was a return journey. i have a lot to do these few weeks, and a lot of unexpected expenses. but, that's not the thing that i'm gonna share right now. thing is, during that 5-hour-long journey, i watched one film that i've had for quite a long time: joyful noise.

yay to gospel! (source)

yeap. i know that the story line is freakin' corny. a lot of unimportant stuff and so on. but what made me enjoy this film the most is, of course, the music!

musical has been such a great guilty pleasure of mine. starting from the lion king (well we could say that almost every disney movies are musicals, right), then sister act, then glee, and i even accidentally found rocky horror picture show and i looooooooove it ;p musicals are always great! as long as the songs are nice ;p

i missed musicals then i found this movie. i've just had the time, and the will to watch it two days ago. and-it-was-great. gospel music has always been the best way for me to connect to Him. when i sing gospel, it feels different. it feels like my heart is singing, not only my mouth. i could even have a good cry through a song when i feel so helpless and weak. that's just how i communicate with my Lord.

then through this musical, too, i could reconnect. well, i do pray everyday, at least every morning and everytime i wanna go to sleep - well, there were times when i just forgot, not gonna lie ;p - but still, the feeling is different. i suddenly miss, again, GTLE. i need to have that kind of community, but it seems that, it's not the best plan for now. europe is such an empty house. i mean. sure, they have big beautiful churches and all. but they're mostly empty. the people chose to believe in themselves rather than in God. well, at least here in france.

well, one of the 'goal' in my life was to attend this kind of church. like, the churches where (i'm sorry for using these words) black people go. where they can really sing and praise the Lord with their own way and i believe i could easily connect with them. too bad i haven't find this kind of church here. the closest was hillsong, but that's just different. i can't connect. not at all. i reeaaallly want to experience the feeling i once had in GTLE.

i know that our relationship with God should be something that, only us and God Himself know. but having a community that could 'connect' to God the same way as we do feels different. it sounds a bit selfish and all but, i'm a human after all. i'm not perfect, i would never be perfect, and i always need someone to hold on to.

who else would it be if it's not to Him?

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