27 Agustus 2015

running, still

the running track (somewhere from google)

lately i've been running out of purpose. i stopped thinking about my phd and focused more on my graduate thesis. it is now finished, both the text and the slides for my defense. so i can dedicate myself more to the search of phd. aaaand..... the search of purpose.

yes, i should've finished reading 'the purpose driven life' years ago if i didn't easily stopped, even before day 10. i'm lost. literally. i reached the point where i don't even know what i want. so i did what i can do best. i talked with a lot of people, listened to their ideas, reading articles from different sources, and of course, not forgetting my 'morning routine,' which sometimes changes to afternoon, even evening reading ;p

guess what i found today.

"the need for self discipline"

do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the price? run in such a way as to get the price. everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training....... i do not run like someone running aimlessly; i do not fight like a boxer beating the air. no, i strike a blow to my body and make it my slave... (1 corinthians 9:24-27, some of the verses)

i've just had a chat with two of my 'friends-as-well-as-guides.' in short, they told me that i have went this far and it's too bad if i gave it all up. i'm one phd away from that predefined career that i chose. yet i'm tired and not even sure if i fit for a phd candidature.

well i guess i only have to push myself a bit further. let's just see what life will give me in the near future.

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