21 Desember 2016

the importance of accomplishment(s) and end game(s) - part 2

so, end game. istilah ini pertama kali gw tau beberapa hari lalu, di serial yang judulnya adalah 'the blacklist.' setiap perjuangan butuh end game. selesainya kapan, bagaimana. karena kalau berjuang terus tanpa tujuan, apa pantas disebut berjuang? asigg.

sekarang gini. buat yang kemarin kemarin terlambat, akan sedikit gw jelaskan perbedaan phd dengan jenjang pendidikan lainnya. phd itu sejatinya adalah kerja, bukan kuliah. saat lo S1 dan S2, kegiatan utama lo adalah menghadiri kelas, ngerjain tugas, dan ujian. all for the sake of skill building dan pembelajaran, jadi saat seseorang masuk ke dunia kerja, otaknya udah jalan dan adjust sama kemampuan berlogika yang dibutuhkan.

gw sendiri ngerasa sebenarnya S1 dan S2 itu ga jauh beda, cuma beda beban moril dan hantaman tugasnya aja. sementara phd atau S3 itu sejatinya udah ga perlu kuliah lagi, kecuali kalau si mahasiswa ngerasa butuh support untuk hal" tertentu yang akan membantu penelitian dia. pekerjaan utama seorang mahasiswa phd ialah: ngantor. ga jauh beda kok sama kawan" 8-to-5 sejagad. kerja kira" 8 jam/hari, bedanya, kalo ga masuk ga ada pemotongan gaji hahaha ;p

phd itu lowong sekali, karena ya itu tadi, mau ngapain aja sebenarnya bebas asal target terpenuhi. pacu bekerja kita yang atur sendiri, kapan mau olah data, kapan ketemu pembimbing, kapan bikin paper, teruuus aja kayak gitu 3-4 tahun ke depan sampai lo bisa menyatakan bahwa proyek penelitian lo 'selesai' dan bisa diwariskan ke dedek dedek lainnya. phd selayaknya udah ga kuliah, tapi jadi asdos. dan biasanya yang udah ngasdos itu anak" tahun kedua, karena udah klop sama supervisor dan udah biasa dengan tool dan metodologi yang diajar di kelas, secara hal itu yang mereka pegang sehari-hari.

si saya yang ambisius ini sebenarnya sudah jaga" agar ga ada kata 'lowong' yang menyebabkan malas ngampus. tapi belakangan gw suka agak bingung ngapain di kantor dan accomplishment apa yang realistis untuk dicapai, dan segala sesuatu rasanya terlalu bertele-tele. nanya ini, dioper ke itu, lalu nunggu. peristiwa 'nunggu' ini lah yang bikin gw suka stres sendiri. mau ngapain dengan waktu tunggu sebanyak iniiiiii selain lagi" baca buku dan paper.

namun, setiap kali gw malas, gw selalu ingat bahwa gw punya end game. end game buat semua ini, dan yang akan jadi awal untuk hal" lainnya. kembali ke pos sebelumnya, berikut kegiatan gw selama 3 bulan terakhir:

1. ngerjain proyek (PhD)
2. bhangra dan audisi timnya
3. pantomime dan end year shownya
4. skills and IT training
5. masak dan hal" rumah tangga lainnya

nah! setiap poin yang gw tulis HARUS punya end game. nomor 1, tentu, end game-nya adalah semuanya selesai. gw lulus dengan gelar, dengan beberapa goal kecil di antaranya. nomor 2, gw sudah ada rencana end game sendiri dan mengapa gw tetap setia, selain karena saya memang cinta  #ahayyy nomor 3 sudah end game. no more panto. yang penting ga mati penasaran lol. nomor 4 karena saya memang pengen banget jago Matlab dan bisa main LaTeX, dengan sedikit bumbu asik Linux,. somehow gw yakin semua ini bakal berguna. dan terakhir si nomor 5, tentu demi rumah tanggaku di masa depan #asikasikjoss

jadi, kalau segala sesuatu punya end game, kita tetap bisa fokus walau pada prosesnya ya, capek dan terseret-seret. ga sedikit teman" gw yang memilih untuk ga masak dan ga beberes rumah/kamar dengan alasan "banyak tugas" dan "ga ada waktu," padahal waktu yang dibutuh kan ga seberapa dibanding dengan hasil akhirnya (i.e. gw jadi bisa masak dan rumah gw rapi, yuhu). entahlah, puasnya beda ngerjain sendiri sama bayar orang untuk ngerjain, hahaha.

tapi kalo boleh jujur, nomor 2 hingga 5 itu adalah cara gw untuk refresh dari kegiatan nomor 1 yang terlihat ga ada ujung. "ga ada waktu" yang mungkin dipake rekan" gw untuk party dan bergaul gw pake untuk masak dan beberes rumah. "ga ada waktu" yang mungkin dipake rekan" lain untuk tidur dan/atau nonton serial gw pake untuk latihan bhangra. waktu selalu ada, tinggal gimana manage-nya aja ;)

13 Desember 2016

the importance of accomplishment(s) and end game(s) - part 1

azeg. cem cem judul buku aja itu judul post hahaha. sejujurnya gw masih galau mau nulis bahasa indonesia atau bahasa inggris, jadi mari kita lihat ke mana ujung dari tulisan ini.

percaya ga percaya, kisaran 3 bulan terakhir rupanya menjadi 3 bulan terpanjang dengan variabilitas emosional yang luar biasa. gw agak lupa, kayaknya sih gw ngepos ga cuma yang seru" aja, tapi juga yang sedih" atau rusuh". siklus naik-turun gw banyakkkk sekali namun asli seru banget! ...dan melelahkan, lol

kalau mau di-over-simplified, hidup gw selama 3 bulan terakhir terbagi atas:
1. ngerjain proyek (PhD)
2. bhangra dan audisi timnya
3. pantomime dan end year shownya
4. skills and IT training
5. masak dan hal" rumah tangga lainnya

awalnya semua lancar.. hingga saya jatuh sakit. dua kali.

namun saat saya sakit, kondisinya begini:
1. proyek: jelas kehilangan banyak waktu, karena kalo gw sakit biasanya ga bisa mikir
2. gw udah masuk tim bhangra, jadi ga ada yg 'ketinggalan' di sini
3. gw bolos beberapa pre-pro lantaran ga kuat ngapa"in, tapi kondisinya gw udah tau gw mesti ngapain aja dan udah hafal lirik dan koreo
4. gw cuma bolos satu training, dan gapapa krn alasannya sakit
5. kamar sedikit rusuh, tapi masih bisa ditiduri. masakan diganti roti dan sup yang tinggal dimasukin microwave.

dari kelima hal di atas, jelas yang progressnya paling rendah adalah nomor satu dan yang terutama: proyek gue! supervisor gw sendiri sampe nyariin karena pengen liat progres #mohonmaaf tapi gw jelasin kalo saat" terakhir gw ga ada kabar itu gw lagi sakit. dan otak gw ga jalan kalo lagi sakit.

kembali ke kantor, gw bingung mesti apa. kenapa? karena target yang gw taro selalu ga realistis dan ga pernah tercapai dengan baik, lol. dan permasalahan sebenarnya datang di luar kendali gw: data dan software. banyak sekali yang mesti gw pelajari lalu gw bingung lagi menentukan prioritas hahaha. jadilah, sejujurnya, akhir" ini gw jadi malas mengerjakan proyek. bahkan malas ngampus kalo ga ada training/latihan panto/seminar/janji apa pun yang melibatkan orang lain karena gw sadar.... ujung"nya bakal mentok jugak :'')

sementara untuk nomor 2 hingga 5, semua ada accomplishment point-nya. bahkan nomor 3 udah end game. show nights beres, selesai lah saya dari panto. makin bingung lah saya, si nomor 1 dan terpenting itu mesti diapain hahaha.

nah terus, hari ini nih, dari pagi sampe sore, gw training matlab. advanced matlab #asigg awalnya boring banget karena trainernya agak geje dan setengah jam pertama gw udah ngerti semua, jadi main game di hp #kebiasaanburuk hahaha. terus masuk ke latihan"nya, ternyata menarik! akhirnya gw mengerti fungsi dari function (ahem, fungsi dr function, naon dah gabs) dan symbolic dan beberapa hal keren lainnya yang sangat jarang gw gunakan. matlab ini powerful sekali yaa!

lalu gw berhasil menyelesaikan semua exercise dan scriptnya jalan semua di kisaran 16:00, sementara jadwal trainingnya sebenarnya hingga 17:00! jadilah gw punya waktu utk nulis" geje hahaha.

dan rasanya indah sekali loh. kayak felt accomplished. feelingnya beda dari ngeberesin training linux dan latex yang keduanya bener" baru gw sentuh. well, skill linux gw kan masih abal abal, dan makenya juga setengah setengah, beda lah sama matlab yang udah gw sentuh sejak tingkat dua #sotoy ...dan berhasil menyelesaikan sesuatu yang pernah tidak gw pahami dan sekarang jadi paham itu........ feel of accomplishment-nya ga bisa bohong! #cry

dan berkat hal tersebut, gw jadi smangat lagi ngerjain proyek, dimulai dengan, lagi", literature review, lol. mesti dilanjutkan dengan lagi" nyari data dan bikin list yang bisa gw diskusikan akhir minggu ini. jadi, one accomplishment itu bisa berefek pada "kepengen punya accomplishment lagi setelah yang itu!"

selanjutnya saya kan bicara soal end game.. tunggu tulisan selanjutnya, mwahahaha ;p

01 Desember 2016

looking forward for christmas

sooooo excited to be in edinburgh this christmas! let's break it down, shall we? oh, the photos are not mine. i googled it.

midnight and morning services at st. giles cathedral. hopefully i'll stay awake despite cold weather.

sharing bhangra moves in edinburtgh crisis centre. sooo excited yet terrified! what if they don't enjoy it? what if no one come? what if.. what if.. aaaakkk!

edinburgh's very own hogmanay! i don't even know what this is.. but.. YAAY!! please pray for me that i've got the front row so i could take beautiful beautiful pictures. it's been AGES since i've photographed anything good :'')

lastly... CEILIDH! again, i'm not really sure how this would be (and so far i am still going there by myself, yikes) but come and see!!

they said it's cold out there, but let's get used to it. i think i would need a really good jumper and scarf only for this christmas...... oh, and two warm pairs of socks too! i'll buy it this/next saturday...... hopefully i found a nice warm one in primark lol. i'm not sure about shoes though....... aghhh i hate that i actually love shopping. i don't want to have too many things in my room but guess what -__-

but so far, i don't really have that 'many stuff' so.. yea, jumper scarf and socks won't be a big deal.

oh yeah, if i do have the courage.... i might hike arthur's seat. MIGHT.

25 November 2016

i am so not gonna do double societies ever again.
ever.

yoga doesn't count, i go whenever i want - no weekly "obligations" whatsoever.
21:09 and still at uni. and am still in first year. help.

.
.
.
.
BUT IT WAS FUN!!!! #fail

22 November 2016

setiap pagi..
dooh dingin betss astagaa mesti banget bangun apa..
...yaudasih kelas masih jam 10, ga wajib juga, bisa nonton class recordingnya ntaran..
...oke, kelas
...hmm jam 9 hmm asudalah, praktikumnya bisa nyusul jugak, ga dinilai ini
...ok, go! (bisa jam 9, 10, 11, 12, tergantung cuaca dan kadar cahaya matahari)

setiap malam..
ok, malam ini bhangra jam 6 sampe 8.. gotta finish before that..
..hmm not finished yet.. oke abis bhangra balik lagi..
..ok, malam ini panto jam 5:30 sampe 8:30.. ini ga mungkin beres, lanjut ntar..
..hmm.. rehat dulu 30 menit baru lanjut
..anjirrr di luar dinginnnn gamao pulaaannggg
..wew, jam 11 wewww
..nanggung, midnight sekalian
..only tonight, jam 2!
..this is thursday.. nothing tonite.. gonna go home at 10 tonite!
..ok, go! (bisa jam 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, kadang lebih awal, tergantung cuaca dan kadar kemageran dari meja kerja)

17 November 2016

yet another contemplative evening on the desk

22:13 and i'm still on my desk. fair enough since i've just got here since 11:00. i've got trouble sleeping lately, but my body is accustomed to sleeping between 6-7 hours/day (unless i force myself to sleep less and normally i would spend the day, not half-dead i will still be energetic, just half-conscious: i might do stuff i won't remember doing). so if i slept at 03:00, i will only wake up around 9-10ish. and plus, it's freakin' cold in the morning like seriously.

a lot of things have been going on. there's always things i can be thankful of. for instant, i got in to the bhangra team, wohoo! ....and i've had the most ultra-finnish moment ever. oh, you don't know what finnish is? and where the hell were you born, you sure you were born on planet earth?

typical finnish joke, so you'd understand. by the way, finnish is a person from finland. and now you know.
so what was my most ultra-finnish moment ever? ahem. this might sound cocky, but it's my blog, i can write whatever i want.

tanya: hi, i'm tanya
gaby: sorry, tanya?
tanya: yes, tanya
gaby: i'm gaby
tanya: oh, gaby! (like she knows me from somewhere else)
gaby: ..urmm, yes? (ok what is this)
tanya: hey, this is gaby!
karen: oh, yeah. riz said you're really good
gaby: .......... (can i just spend the rest of the evening below the table, please?)

and yea first training night was crazy, it was three times harder than the weekly fridays and... i needed to leave early because i have already reserved a place for a musical theater play so i missed the last bits. apparently, quite big bits. they've had this choreographed blocking and stuff so this evening's video scared me off. what'll i do tomorrow, what?!

so i went for the play. it was the little shop of horror. apparently, there's a song that i know. and i enjoyed every-minute-of-the-show. the opening made me so happy as all i can think of are my dad and my brother, as if they were the ones who are up there :') it's kinda hard not to shed tears there actually but yeah, i took a breath and it was fine. the show was awesome, the properties are just plain crazy. they made this giant-human-size 'living plant' to life! and they are mostly undergrads!!

during the show, i contemplate. i couldn't stop smiling, i won't lie. i thought about everything i've had. everything that God has provided for me. and what a great project i am in right now. i mean i'm working with both academicians and practitioners. this first-almost-fully academic year will turn into something that 'the industry will need' in the next 2-3 years and i'm a part of it. what did i do to deserve this. i have never realized how, crazily beautiful this life that God has prepared for me. in my 25th.

and i'm in this very exciting dance club that is totally new to me, and i'm being a 'supporting actor' in a panto play, and i still have time to make my own food so i know how much i've spent and what exactly it is that i eat. and i'm involved in the research division in the indonesian students association in the uk. and i'm doing a charity work for the homeless this 25-26 december in edinburgh as, guess what, a workshop leader! a workshop on what? on bhangra! :D :D :D

we're gonna have fun, yaaay!
funny story, bear with me. i originally applied as a general volunteer. you know, to do anything they need me to: greeting guests, preparing meals, sweep/mop the floor, etc. in the form, there was a question about any 'entertaining skills' i can do to cheer the guests up, i randomly filled in that i can play a ukulele and i can do bhangra 'just for fun.' the committee contacted me and.... they asked me if i can change my application to be a 'workshop leader' instead and lead a bhangra workshop! what a shock! :'')

*deep breathe out* pheww.. so........ well, shortly i said yes. i can't stop smiling. seriously, i can't stop smiling.

ok now, 22:43 over here. i still need to catch up some stuff. my project's heated up and oh, i need an it guy to help me out with a software installation tomorrow morning. this school's network system is crazy about security so it's not that simple to have a software installed in your pc. yes, morning, gaby. morning.

oh, last bit. i love how people say my name here. 'gaby,' with the 'a' as an alphabet between 'a' and 'e.' it sounds so cool :'''D cheers, y'all!

11 November 2016

enjoy the time while you can

thus my supervisor said. yes. 'enjoy.'

to be completely honest, i have no reason, then again, no reason to enjoy anything these past few weeks, and the upcoming ones, lol. but i do have things i should be thankful for.

one. i have just bought a can of skimmed milk and cocoa powder to make hot chocolate anytime i need it. wohoo! free flow hot chocolate for less then 5 pounds instead of the 1 pound/cup!

two. i'm gonna spend christmas in edinburgh! hopefully! i'll update about this in few days.. or weeks. ps: i would probably do new things this holiday season. totally new. so excitedd!!

three. i'm going to audition for leeds bhangra team TONIGHT! wish me luck :')

then again, i've got quite some burden on my shoulders that i need to get rid of, by working hard instead of procrastinating to do so.

one. i'm having a meeting with all three supervisors on monday. i was hoping for it to fall on friday so i would have time to do things but, voila. the only time space they are all available is gonna be monday 12-1 pm. i need to prepare.... stuff.

two. my night owl habit is coming back the hard way. i mean, it is ok if i've no class the day after, but if i do i would be ruined. i need to find a reason to wake up early every single day except saturday. yep, sunday too coz i've got panto rehearsals.

three. it feels like i am so far behind. as usual, all things are turning upside-down. i thought i would mess big time in inverse theory, turns out i find it cool, exciting, and actually am good with the practicals. well, 4 years+ with matlab won't lie. on the other hand, literature review has becoming harder than i thought. so much information i need to seep in. but so far, all of them are super interesting and often i ran out of time to do them all.

so, what can i say.. enjoy? hahaha. God bless us :)

09 November 2016

bhangra audition's routine!




this is super complicated. trying hard to match one move to another, lol. wish me luck this friday!

03 November 2016

"Perfectionism is the enemy of the timely completion."

02 November 2016

refleksi

saat saya memulai sesuatu dengan serius dan mengertinya bahwa hal tersebut adalah 'penting,' biasanya saya ga setia. mudah bosan dan akhirnya good bye.

namun saat saya memulai sesuatu purely iseng, atau atas dasar kesenangan semata, biasanya saya jadi setia, bahkan maniak. selalu pengen balik, dan walau ada aral rintangan yang bilang 'ini ga penting' atau 'kayak ga ada yang lain,' malah ga good bye good bye.

contohnya? ya blog ini :'')

dan banyak hal yang telah, sedang, dan mungkin, akan dilewati.

don't even get me started on bhangra, lol.

31 Oktober 2016

yet another bhangra post, etc.



so funn! i always can't wait for next friday to happen as we deal with more complicated moves and oh-it-is-so-cool. they're having an audition for the team two weeks from now, so this friday, they will give an audition routine. SO EXCITEDDD!! :''''D

as for panto, we've been having rehearsals on singing and dancing and they were so much fun! i can imagine how hard it would be on the stage, you know, with all the 'stage-creeps' and all that but we'll have four nights in a row..... which hopefully will be exciting! i'll share the full show, probably on january. we have recordings on rehearsals, but they're private properties, sorry lads ;p oh, for those of you who aren't familiar with what the f 'pantomime' is, check out this video.


so, it's not 'mime,' it's panto - that's how we call it simply. basically, a british 'srimulat' or 'ketoprak humor' or 'opera van java' i must say, for you indonesian fellows, lol.

as for my studies, i've just had a 3-minute presentation earlier this day and i made it! it was quite hard to tighten the things that i would say and keep my speaking flow - especially with those new vocabularies and stuff - but it went well! here's the first slide, not so fancy as most of them are taken from literatures - not my own work just yet. i guess sharing this won't be a problem as the workflow are basically originated from the published offer over a year ago, so here goes.

the first slide of my first presentation.... ever! well, in leeds, of course.

so.... wish me luck!

ps: i will have 2 weeks of vacation by the end of december and somehow i am not really motivated to go anywhere.. hmm.. staying in won't be a bad idea i guess, unless a friend needed my help/companion, lol.

27 Oktober 2016

making sense instead

"well, personally.. i will take the fault down to here... does that make sense?"
"ah, oui.. tu as raison."

part of our life growing up, big part, was about learning. we've learned something even since we were little kids. we learned to walk, to speak, to run, and finally we have that thing called formal education.

i grow up in indonesia. i started having formal education since i was... 3, i guess? and finished my undergrad at 21, so 18 years of my life have been spent learning with indonesian way of learning. but to be fair, i'll skip the first 14 years as i have no comparison nor references about what i did during pre-school, elementary, junio high, and high school. so, universities only.

my undergrad life in bandung.... is not quite different with what i have in high school. formal education-wise, of course. we've been told to give 'right' answers, learning what is 'true,' etc. etc. we did repetitive tasks with, well, kind of repetitive issues as well. and we're all afraid. we're afraid to be wrong, afraid to ask things, even worse, afraid to admit that we don't know.

sad isn't it?

this, ladies and gentlemen, was what i was facing back in my master's degree. i was too afraid to say "i don't know," i was too afraid to raise my hand in classes/tutorials, so i didn't move. even if i did, i was so far away from my colleagues. until one day i realized, i need to go somewhere, and i need to be faster.

so i struggled and tried to improve my french to a level where i can say to myself "okay that i didn't get" instead of "wtf i didn't get anything that he was saying." it was also a level where i could finally argue with my colleagues, that what i was working on was not much far from what they were. and just when i got to that level, there was a saying that keeps running to my head: "tu as raison."

if you translate it literally, it would mean "you have a reason." but, in french, "tu as raison" is actually an expression which means "you are right." so in french, you can only be right if you have a reason. and that makes perfect sense.

now i study in the uk, and i still take classes with some master's students. they are like me about 2 years ago. afraid to tell themselves "i don't know" and much slower than the other colleagues, as far as i am concern. me, i am already in the level where i can raise my hands and ask question whenever i feel like it, and again, there's a repetitive expression that are told by both the lecturer and the assistants a.k.a. demonstrators: "does that make sense?"

so again, they are not telling us what is "right," they are trying to have a conversation with us. instead of telling you "this one is true, other than this would be fault" they try to talk to you, giving you their ideas, see if you agree, and if everybody's happy, than that makes sense. funny isn't it?

this was what i've been missing throughout my undergrad. especially that crazy first year. my God how did i ever survive. point is, what if we stop separating the truth from the false? what if we start conversations first rather than telling people what you think is true?

we might have a better place to stay :)

21 Oktober 2016

why i am taking a phd - and pursue an academic career

fyi, this post will be personal. i am not trying to encourage (nor decourage, lol) anyone to pursue an academic career - this is totally personal. oh, and i am writing in between reading papers, my head's pretty heavy right now so i need some refreshments.

refreshments, lol - googled the image

ok, now! question: why am i taking a phd - at this very stage of life?

quick answer, because i want to pursue an academic career. i'll elaborate within the next stages on this post so bear with me.

ok, why academic?

good question, long story.

i'm a type of person who hates it when time is being wasted. easiest way of time wasted: commuting. i grew up in jakarta and i witness the increasing amount of time wasted by commuting from time to time - it sucks. i am lucky enough to experience other cities during my studies such as, of course, bandung, also jogja, surabaya, and semarang so i kinda know how i do have MORE time outside of jakarta - even in surabaya, this very busy city.

this. is. jakarrtttaaaaaaa!!! - googled the image

this might sound whiny to jakartans - especially to my mom, lol - because jakartans might not realize just how much time they have wasted en route. quick example, i did work in jakarta in early 2013 and i needed like, 3-4 hours a day only to commute. i worked for about 5-6 months, so just calculate yourself, how much time have i been wasted, again, only to commute. that's just crazy.

at some point, i do adore my friends who can truly bear with this condition: sleeping 3-4 hours a day (sometimes 2), still manage to go to the gym (since they are also able to afford it), hanging out and having quality time with friends and family, etc. and still doing that 3-4 hours commute everyday. by themselves, driving mostly. but working for companies...... does not attract me that much. in term of money, of course they're very interesting (verrryyyyy), but again, i won't have that much quality time, at least with myself, and i hate it.

so it came to my mind that, i need to have a job that will require me to grow, but still have quality time to do other things. ever heard the 8-8-8 balance? 8 hours work, 8 hours sleep, 8 hours for anything else. this is utopia, i know, but it is possible to engineer our life approximately to that very balance. i have this whole stuff in my mind throughout my undergrad while still happily munching all the knowledge and camaraderie between my colleagues until at some point, i realize that, i love teaching!

such a nice image, eh? this is totally how i feel about teaching - it requires learning - and you will learn even more by teaching - googled the image

i love teaching because it made me a better student. you know, when you read something, you'll get like 50% of what you read, but when you finally can tell the thing that you read to someone else (i.e. teach), you'll get to the beautiful 90%! again, utopia, i know. but i witness that by being an academia, you'll allow yourself to grow because science is actually always moving forward. like, always. that's why there's always a bunch of conferences, published papers, even debates because what people knew 100 years ago as 'true' can always be 'defeated' by a new finding(s) and it could be the other way around!

finally, i get to the point when i said to myself: this is the track. if i wanna be good at something, this is it. i didn't know what area i'd like to have a focus in just yet (honestly, even till now), but teaching, and to this point, researching, is the main thing i wanna do in the future. i want this to be my job.

and of course, teaching allows me to live outside jakarta, as the only institute i'd like to apply (so far) is not located in jakarta ;) so the 3-4 hours commute, hopefully, could be shrinked into some 1-2 hours/day. already save some big time.

now let's go back to the first question: why phd? why now?

well, long story, again, but i'll try to keep it short.

academic life is so different with professional one. professionals based their knowledge on experiences, while academicians based their knowledge on other people's experiences. why? because their time span is so different.

professionals work in a company, where everything roles rapidly. you get from projects to projects within short months, quick deadlines, similar problems, but mostly in professional life, you need to manage your time (and your team's time) in order to finish a project. a project, in what i have experienced so far, would only last like 3-6 months. never really reached 1 year, so it is possible for you to work on different projects at the same time because, well, they're normally similar. differences only found in like, study area, data acquisition problems, etc. etc.

while academicians have reallly long time span. producing 2 papers/year (as a first author) is already a crazy thing, because you're examining something that no one ever examined before - or at least you're examining the same stuff with different approach. this could take months, even years, to actually come into conclusions. that's why, scientists mostly based their findings with published journals - are their findings make sense? is there any anomalies observed? what would be the impact of these findings? because finally, it is the impact of your finding that matters - the finding should make everything makes more sense, which will lead us to new ways problem solving. new ways, yes, i must say.

meaning, academic life is so much more tiring and long than professional. that is why, i need to start as early as possible. the earlier i can get my head to this, the more productive i will be in the future - i am also a slow learner so starting early will give me such advantage ;p so, if i only start a phd life after like, 3-5 years in industry, you can imagine how much time i have 'wasted' solving repetitive problems rather than solving 'new' problems. also, this is why the industry sometimes still needs academia - for solving non-repetitive problems ;)

this comic is purrrrfect! lol - found it here

so yeah, i am now enjoying the sufficient amount of time i have, not only to build my academic career, but also to invest myself in other things such as cooking, doing exercises (my late-20s body feels totally different than during my early-20s so exercise is a must), etc. seems busy? it is, but actually the time for cooking and exercising came from the 'unwasted' 2-3 hours/day commuting since i only need about 1 hour/day to commute. see what i mean? ;)

but overall, whatever you do, do it with your heart. sounds cheesy but, anything (academia, professional, entrepreneur, politicians, etc. etc.) will be worth it if you do that sincerely. i love what i do and will continue the way i do, whatever it takes. just, pray for me so that i still have the guts to stand up when i got down, lol. have a great day!

ps: i think at some stage i did write something like this hmmmmm... whatever i'll check it out later.
pps: time enjoyed is never a time wasted...... so lying in your bed doing nothing is NOT wasted, since you enjoy it ;p so if you do love commuting, i don't think your very time is wasted. yes, you're welcome.

15 Oktober 2016

new life(s) vs settlement

it's always interesting to start a new life. well, the whole life i've been moving in and out here and there. packing and arranging stuff has always been an addiction of mine, kind of? since i graduated from elementary school, my life is always moving: i have never stayed in the same place for more than 3 years from then. moving from one 'kosan' to another counts yak ;p

dari sana gw mulai bisa memilah, mana yang esensial mana yang bisa ditemukan di mana saja. mana yang disimpan mana yang dibuang. pada akhirnya gw menyadari, puji syukur, barang gue memang tidak pernah sebanyak itu. i have a relatively small room, also small groceries and food placements in my house - because it is shared - yet i always manage to leave some space in each of them, yeay!

but as you grow old, the need for settlement itu ga bisa dipungkiri. instead of jumping from places to places, like i did best when i was doing my masters degree, i'd like to just stay in one place where i have everything there. in the weekends, instead of doing any activities outside - even in another city - i would only like to wake up late, have a good breakfast/lunch, read 2-5 pages of a book that has been left out while warming up the prepared meal, shop for groceries or other home needs, boring stuff. but i feel really good about it. i enjoy it, a lot.

this is how i cook now! i prepare five packages of meals for 1-1.5 hour cooking so it saves BIG time.

i still do 'crazy undergrad' stuff like joining a performance group, - i finally joined pantomime, it's not mime, it's a british kind of comedy theatre - though i'm only gonna be in the ensemble, lol. i joined bhangra dance society, as i have told you before. we have exercise every friday night for about 1-1.5 hour. i also joined the yoga society, though till now i have never joined any of the classes, next week would be cool lol. so some 4-6 hours/week i dedicate to these fun stuff. i mean come on, it's not even 1 hour/day in average. i'm not wasting my time or anything.

i refrained from joining 'extreme' groups like caving, hiking, orienteering, those groups i normally have my eyes on (and i DID have my eyes on them, totally). but in the end, at least till now, i'm not joining. i think this 25-year-old self started to like being indoor and how i truly enjoy the 'rumah tangga' life of preparing meals and washing the dishes more than i did during my undergrad and masters. we have turns on cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the floors, buying cleaning liquids, etc. and guess what, i enjoy my turn a lot, lol.

so hmm.. mungkin settlement itu merupakan sesuatu yang.... ujung"nya manusia cari. but it's not that i'm now prepared to get married or something, nooooo. gw masih jauh dari siap untuk menikah dan berkeluarga tbh ;p namun diri gw yang lunjak" ini sendiri seakan udah minta sama raga gw yang memang staminanya sudah berbeda: "gab, tone down a bit, will you?"

bonus: another bhangra class, yaaay! i messed up by the end, was out of breath, lol.

14 Oktober 2016

what i did last week!





BHANGRA DANCE! totally going again tonite, can't wait :D

12 Oktober 2016

badan saya remuk, remuk!!

i need my 21-years-old energy and body back. huft.

ah, ya. saya baru beres menstruasi. pantas.

10 Oktober 2016

getting motivated

heyya! this is how they greet people here.

this week has been crazy. all new stuff coming in and out, new style of living, new 'life hacks' to survive, and of course, just a pinch of spontaneity. maybe even more. much more.

i had a school induction on monday until 2 pm, i guess? i met quite some people, had my desk, loving the 'tea with milk' culture too much as it is how i drink tea regularly in the office or at home (well, with creamer actually, not 'real' milk). then i went to the library to look for reference books, as told by one of my supervisors, went home, cook some food, and went to the Christian students union 'equip' at 8 pm. the equip was nice, i had a chat with new people, and relieved that, not only undergrads were there, yaay!

tuesday i was overwhelmed. i was really tired and ended up only going to the supermarket to buy groceries. then went back home and get another rest. i think i just got exhausted and needed a break. big break.

chaaaarrrrrr (sad voice) image i googled ;p

wednesday was crazy. i went to one MSc. in exploration geophysics class, they had matlab tutorials for about 3 hours that day (i only went for 2). it was cool actually, i got refreshed and learned some new cool tricks! the reason why i only went there for 2 hours instead of 3 was because i went to one MSc. in geology with geophysics class. the only reason i went was because it was one of my supervisor's class. hmm, not really sure of going to this class all the way, but i'll try to go for a couple of this classes more. it was a 3 hour-class, but yea, i only went for 2. oh, i went to my desk and got to know the people next to mine. good thing is, they have free tea in the office, nice huh!

thursday, i went to another exploration class in the morning, and read on my desk afterwards. i stayed up till 8 pm, i guess? what i was reading was reaaalllyyy coool! exactly the thing i have wanted to learn since... i don't know when! so the time went by pretty quickly. i went home and did some other work.

friday, exhaustingggggggg. i had another induction, this time it's faculty induction. up to 2:30 pm, and there was an open seminar from an utrecht researcher about numerical modelling of the earth's layers at 3 pm, so cool. crazy cool. but i thanked God over and over again that i cancelled doing THAT kind of thing as my PhD project. that's too crazy, will never be finished. period. so i got back to my desk by 4, read again, finished the pages that i wanted to finish (even more, yeay!), and randomly plunged myself to a BHANGRA CLASS.


that, up there, you guys, is how bhangra looks like. SO MUCH FUN and my shoulders hurt like crazy :''') the funny thing about bhangra is: you HAVE to SMILE aaaallll the way :''') they did record our rehearsal, but i don't know if they'll ever upload it, or share it in any way. but i will definitely join this 'leeds bhangra society' so i will be able to dance this super fun punjabi folk dance every friday night! at the uni!

saturday was nice. i woke up late, had some chat with my roommates, did some home shopping, washed my clothes, cooked using the 'multiple meals' trick and yes it saved me BIG time. so much win. and continued the work from thursday.

sunday, err..... i woke up late for a church :'') i was supposed to try 2 churches this day: gatewayleeds.net and www.cecleeds.co.uk but i woke up so late that i could only did one service, lol. it was the second one, and it was quite nice. i met one person that i chatted with in the Christian students equip on Monday, and turns out she's in the English and Theatre studies! i told her that i was in a 'not-so-serious' theatre group and she told me to take a look at the 'Theatre Group' aka TG in the uni. it's a group that i have not yet considered, because there are soooo many theatre groups even in the uni! this TG thing, turns out, run plays that are 'not that musical' and sometimes they write the play themselves!



so, as you've all guessed, i googled this TG and found out that they're having audition tomorrow :') i don't know what i am thinking right now but i am sooo keen of joining. they're only auditioning for 7 characters tho, and so far there will be like, 50 people auditioning. me, i just want the experience! you know, the warming ups, the readings, acting with groups, oh God!

i've already had monday and tuesday all-planned, tomorrow's gonna be nuts. thank God i still have prepared lunch in the fridge, lol. wish me luck on tonight's quest before bed: werk.

30 September 2016

oh, first year's student chills.... all over again!

hellaw! as you may all have noticed, i have arrived in leeds! tada!

gloomy, gloomy skies.. (alodia, 2016)

per-drama-an beberapa hari pertama sudah gue post di path, and you know what, i now have a place to live! TO LIVE!

kamarque yang kucinta.. pujaan haatikuuu.. (alodia, 2016)

jadi shortly, senin gue sampai, masuk hostel (dilatari drama pindah cabang dll. but it's fine!), beli simcard, aktivasi internet, cari tempat tinggal, telponan sama yang punya tempat tinggal sambil nge-mall, belanja makan malam dan makan siang besokannya, deal"an sama salah seorang tenant di rumah buat visit, kabar"in orang sambil nunggu waktu visit, nyasar, batere hp ngedrop, ke stasiun khusus buat ngecas hp, balik ke rumahnya dan... rumahnya pw! balik hostel, masak makan malam super enak #karenalapar, kabarin beberapa orang (lagi), dan bobok hangat di hostel. BANYAK YAAA DALAM SEHAAARRRRIIII!!

selasa gue bangun kepagian, sarapan super enak (lagi), bobok lagi, bangun siang: FINALLY some quality sleep! telponan sama yang punya rumah, deal"an bahwa mau pindahan hari itu juga, janjian sama salah seorang tenant (lagi), masuk"in semua barang ke kamar, bengang bengong ini kamar butuh apa aja, belanja sprei, sarung bantal, sabun, sabun muka, shampoo, dan sedikit tambahan makanan malam ini, balik hostel, masak makan malam menu sama, bobok terakhirque di hostel, surprisingly.

rabu gue bangun enjoy - ga pagi ga siang, sarapan enjoy, beberes memastikan ga da yang tertinggal, check out sampek pelukan ke yang punya hostel (she's super sweet!), beli selimut, cover selimut, dan setrikaan, beli gantungan baju dan kotak 'alat mandi' juga di toko sebelah yang diskon 40% ALL ITEMS, ke rumah, beberes kamar (lagi) yang adalah semua barang keluar dari koper dan carrier dan ditempatkan sesuai peruntukannya, bobok"an ngetes pewe-enggak-nya kasur (dan pewee hummm), ke kampus buat registrasi, belanja sedikit lebih serius (olive oil, pastas, garlics, shrimps, spices, fancy stuff!), masak super enak, makan, beberes barang yang masih ga jelas peruntukannya, memastikan kamar sleep-ready, dan bobooookk!

my cooking! soooo geewwwddd..... (alodia, 2016)

kamis, yang adalah hari ini, gw ambil cash buat bayar kosan, beresin kontrak sama yang punya rumah, dan untuk seminggu pertama yang adalah belum tanggal 1 oktober ini he didn't charge me :'') kalo kata aryo: amalnya banyak, beresin registrasi kampus yang tertunda kemarinnya, ambil KTP 'sementara' inggris alias BRP, nemu coat murah BANGET dan PAS astagaaaa :'') kehilangan topi kesayangan dan beli baru model persis bahan beda (lebih anget) dan, uhm lebih mahal -___-, HORE DAPET STUDENT CARD! wihiw! tanya" soal aplikasi bank, pulang, email supervisorsss janjian besok, masak, makan, bikin bullet journal oktober, dan ngeblog! MWAHAHA!

ku resmi jadi pelajar di leeds. uhuk. uhuk. (alodia, 2016)

WOW!!! gw bahkan ga sadar sebanyak apa hal yang sudah gw kerjakan selama empat hari ini. empat bok, EMPAT! OH, I ALMOST FORGOT! gw baru aja ngambil 'welcome pack' buat international students hari rabu, and... i was.... kinda late :'( huk. i thought i've had my eyes off the students union, but seriously, they have MUSICAL THEATRE CLUB! MUSICAL. THEATRE. NO. they've performed CHORUS LINE for God's sake! well, of course, i've got my eyes on them already, but sadly their audition for the upcoming play was all over :''( so it wasn't glee after all, auditions are HUGE DEAL, huh. ga ada tuh yang namanya "oh kita masih kekurangan orang audisi aja" NO! GAK ADA. huvt.

mulai deh sibuk cari" klub lain dan astagaaa mengapa semua menarikkk gue sedih........ hmm..

i've just realized. this was how i feel every time i entered a new environment. SMP, SMA, kuliah, S2 sekalipun. i've had my eyes on literally EVERYTHING. di smp, well, it was only two years but the one i am really grateful of joining is the OSIS. tau lah, OSIS labschool geto loh. dapet rompinya aja mesti lari lupa brapa kilo bawa" bambu segaban. sma, i had my heart on both pencinta alam a.k.a. PLATALAM and Rohkris. with some bonuses, like, panitia buku tahunan. i had fun! kuliah itu tersulit karena SEMUA MENARIK namun akhirnya komitmen penuhku hanya pada IMG dan Divisi Eksternal PMK. sisanya - bahkan hingga ikut Glorify the Lord Ensemble! - ku datang dan pergi. S2 kupikir hayati lelah, namun, TIDAK JUGA! gw ikutan klub teater, klub berlayar (walau cuma dua kali main karena, dingin bok! wkwk), aktif di gereja, dan PPI! walau tahun kedua gw cabut dari grup teater dan berlayar karena, kuliah hayati makin padat kak, PADAT!

capek baca? nihhh kasih yang seger seger dulukk :3 (alodia, 2016)

kini kukembali ke sekolah. ceritanya adalah disuruh cepat" sekolah. gw baru akan ketemu supervisor besok jadi mungkin baru akan ngeh seberapa padat aktivitas risetku ke depan... ya besok itu! fufufu. so far i'm going to join the equip of christian students society (as always) - they'll have a meeting on monday evening. there'll be a board game thing on late october, and still.. i set my heart on the musical so i'll try the 'backstage' society next sunday! nope, not this sunday, next sunday. jadi setidaknya walau ku tak bisa on stage ku tetap bisa bikin set, main lampu, dan main sound :')

and there'll be a musical showcase in november..... why november? whyyyy? why so far awaaaayyy.. but anyhow, in the showcase, they are looking for people for their group number! AAAAA BIAR KATA GA MANGGUNG JUGA BODO AMAT PENGEN IKUTAAANNN! yap, tentunya hal ini sudah terjadwal fufufu.

i'm still a kid. i'm such a kid. semuanya menarik dan energiku ternyata masih banyak :''') yawdalahyaaa, aku masih belum adult kok menurut orang eropa. their 'adulthood' starts at 26, yet i am 25, wohoo! hopefully i'll have sufficient time to achieve what i MUST achieve..... and MORE! :D

NB: sometimes i wonder.... is this repetition.....? .....naah, i love what i'm doing, i have rights to do what i'm doing, and i am living my life to the fullest! - my version, of course.

22 September 2016

space

sometimes you need to create a space, only to let things happen. like, you know, things.

hmm.. quite funny story, gw baru dapet tempat tinggal. puji Tuhan. dan mudah"an semuanya aman sih. i mean, you know. tapi ya.... apa yah.. gw bingung menjelaskannya.

saat lo pernah dalam kondisi 'susah,' hati lo tuh jadi jauh lebih mudah lunak. ada beberapa hal yang sebenernya, oh lo ngebatu pun ga papa, ga ada ruginya. tapi ketika sense lo menangkap bahwa, ah orang ini butuh dibantu, semua luluh lantah. karena apa? karena saya pernah ada di kondisi seperti itu, dan itu ga enak.

oke, gw mungkin agak kumur" di atas, tapi yang pengen gw ceritakan tengah malam ini adalah tentang 'space,' alias 'ruang.'

hi! i'm sam and i went to space! SPACE!

sebagai orang yang berkecimpung di dunia spasial, ruang menjadi sesuatu yang penting. ya, common sense lah. ga perlu hitung sana sini, tapi kalau sense bilang bgitu, ya begitu. penyakit manusia modern yang kekinian itu, kalau di pikir", sebenarnya ga jauh dari permasalahan ruang. ruang tinggal semakin sempit, makanya orang mulai berpikir untuk 'hidup vertikal' alias ber-apartemen-ria. ruang sekecil apa pun harus berguna, contohnya, sekarang anak tangga udah bisa berfungsi sebagai lemari penyimpan, seperti di rumah saya. orang takut akan kehabisan ruang. segala yang ada jadi mesti dimanfaatkan.

ruang ini, ternyata bisa jadi saluran berkat, loh. gampangnya, gw memberi ruang untuk diri sendiri selama satu minggu penuh sebelum terbang, yaitu dari senin kemarin hingga sabtu esok hari. minggu saya terbang. ruang ini saya sengajakan, untuk, yah, kalau ada apa" yang mendesak harus diurus, saya punya waktu dan ruang berpikir. karena, well, sebenarnya berbagai hal administrasi belum sempat benar" saya urus, terutama tempat tinggal dan urusan perintilan sekolahan lain.

ada beberapa hal pula yang gw temukan dalam pekan ini. senin gw bisa tidur pulas puas, setelah hari minggunya saya hanya tidur efektif sekitar setengah jam, well, sejam tak sampai. selasa gw dedikasikan untuk berburu cindera mata, which i gladly enjoyed! last time i did that was last christmas, belanja buat mama papa dan nino di brest hahaha. terus si ghazi minta dibantuin case interview and we've had some nice chats. lalu ketemuan sama dhira dan istri! then i went home. seneng. dan malam ini gw makan es krim klepon hasil rekomendasi ratih bareng si aryo, setelah (agak) kecewa sama sebuah resto konro di bilangan ampera. kayaknya kita salah masuk, sih, karena ternyata si 'merk' konro ini punya banyak toko di jalan yang sama. konro gw rada amis -___-

besok, kamis, clara dan meisa ngajak main. jumat nonton nino. sabtu kebaktian. minggu... :')

kok cepet banget sih, boleh lebih lambat sedikit kah?

lalu lantaran kami terbahak, kamu pikir kami ga sedih? gitu?

gw sedikit banyak bersyukur atas ruang yang ada. orang mungkin hanya melihat 'wow'-nya, yaitu gw berangkat ke leeds! tapi ga tau berapa banyak penolakan dan time spent yang gw alami setahun ke belakang #asik dan lo pada ga tau kaaaannn apa apa saja yang sebenarnya sudah gw lewatiii fufufu. tapi namanya pelajaran dan inspirasi, yang dilihat ya, yang sukses aja. toh gw juga udah lupa, gagalnya apa aja kenapa dll. karena, ya, semua udah ketutup seneng :)

you can work your ass off, you can jump from one to various opportunities ahead..... but remember to create some space.... for you to listen to what God really expects you to do.

plans train your head. spaces train your faith. asik.

16 September 2016

di balik "NaN"

sejujurnya saya ragu mau nulis tentang paris atau tentang NaN ini, soalnya barusan gw nyanyi nyanyi odong "ne me quittes pas, mon cher, ne me quittes pas" ala regina spektor sama si dian sambil golar goler di satu ruang di pojok kk hidro. keingat betapa gw tidak setuju dengan kalimat mba spektor yang menyatakan "i love paris in the rain." no! NO! i DO NOT like paris in the rain!

namun berhubung tugas mulia (terakhir...ish?) saya buat BW baru selesai, aku cerita soal NaN saja yew. wekekekek.

NaN! apakah itu?!

NAAAANAAANAAANANANANANAAAA! NANANANAAAA! HEEY JUUUDDDEE!!

bagi klean klean yang suka main main sama matlab, atau setidaknya data numerik, tentunya klean ini sudah memahami bahwa NaN itu adalah singkatan dari "Not a Number." bukan angka. lalu apa?

yaa.. gampangnya sih, saat sesuatu dirasa komputer "ga masuk akal" atau "irasional" atau "ini pokoknya ada yang ga beres," si komputer akan menyatakan hal tersebut sebagai NaN. NaN juga dapat digunakan, kalau saya sih seringnya, untuk merepresentasikan ketiadaan data, alias data bolong. atau, saat komputernya ga cukup pintar karena si komputer ga punya feeling #henaon! saya sendirilah yang menyatakan bahwa, you're Not a f**kin' Number!

NaN itu dilematis. terutama sebagai prosesor, alias, mba mas yang kerja di belakang layar dan duduk di kantor. data NaN itu data yang bikin kerja jadi ringan. horeeee ga da dataaa bisa punya waktu buat bobok bobok cantix atau sekedar ke wc atau ambil minum. namunnnn, di sisi lain, data NaN ini bikin kepala mau botak. why NaN, why, WHY?!

lalu muncul lah segala keluh kesah "ini ngapain aja si yang di lapangan" namun "ah, tapi kondisi lapangannya emang rusuh sih, data begini ya mo gimana lagi" namun "lah, salah ekstrak. ini ko BISA outputnya ga dicek!" namun "asudahlah mungkin lelah, khilaf" namun "etdah ini ga ngerti cara make alat apa!" namun "aduh ini kalo emang ga ngerti ya gapapa tapi ko ya ngga nanya" dan akhirnya "AUK AH, DARKNESS!" (maksudnya: auk ah, gelap! #garing)

lebih gundah gulana saat menyatakan bahwa, ohohowwww ini data tidak masuk akal. tidak mungkin terjadi di lapangan. lalu mau tak mau, label NaN mesti dikasih. ntar kalo ada yang tanya "ini kok NaN-nya banyak banget?" jawabannya hanya "ya gimana lagi, data bilang begitu" "ga bisa diakalin?" "diakalin gimana nurut ngana, data ya data. ini juga udah diproses dulu biar apa yang ngana lakukan di lapangan benar benar terepresentasi di figur figur kyut unyu nan informatif itu. ngana fikir ini tiap satu gambar png bikinnya cuma lima menit, ha? HA?!"

sebagai pendidik, yang juga semi-profesional, gw sangat beryukur sih, dapet kuliah yang half lapangan half di kelas. well, mungkin 3/4 kuliah master gw sejatinya ialah di lapangan, sih. jadi feel gw saat ngolah data itu kuat sekali. makanya klean klean dedek dedek geodesi itb masa kini, bersyukurlah. klean dapet praktikum berkali kali dengan alat yang macem macem. kesempatan langka itu, langka!

dan aku mengerti kok, saaaangat mengerti, bahwa kondisi di lapangan itu tidak seperti di kantor. o tentu tidak! namun srsly APA sih susahnya ngikutin PROSEDUR #kembangkempisnapas

anw.. kalau gw ga pernah ke lapangan, mungkin projek yang baru gw beres kerjakan ini..... bahkan ga akan berani gw ambil pada saat tender menender. mwahahahahah ;p

nb: tulisan ini dibuat atas ditemukannya 1 dari 6 dataset yang ujung"nya nilai NaN-nya sudah hampir sama dengan 40%. sedihnya, sekitar 33%-nya itu lantaran si surveyor salah ekstrak. tsssaaadeeeeessstttt. tengs. but. notengs.

15 September 2016

yang belum selesai

menurut waktu laptop saya, kini sudah tanggal 15 september 2016! 10 days to go! to go to apa? aing pergi ke negeri orang untuk jangka waktu panjang! lagi!

jadi so far gw udah: 1) pengang visa uk, 2) pegang settlement allowance #1 dan reimbursement visa dan asuransi kesehatan, 3) pesen tiket ke central travels, kalau semua lancar mestinya besok gw udah pegang tiket.

sisanya gw belum: 1) well, pegang tiket, 2) nyari apartemen secara serius (SRSLY!), 3) pesen airbnb untuk satu minggu-ish, 4) menyelesaikan utang" pekerjaan yang oh-ternyata-banyak-ugak-eak, 5) packing beneran.

BANYAK EAP QAQAAA~

but so far, aing enjoy sik. bahaha. walau badan pegal linu. pengen rasanya dikerokin. huftipity.

barusan aing farewell sama bw. so sweet deh. gw yang farewell, gw yang dibayarin bahahaha naon.

terus kemaren sama arpeggio. uwuuuuu. gw di-surprise-in gitchuuu kaget anetts.

masuk masuk (eike telat bengets) ada tempelan GUTL4K GE81 :'')

mana eta pakek DRAMA dulu pulak! jadi ceritanya kunci kosan gw ketinggalan. entah ketinggalan di mana yang jelas ga kebawak ke bandung. karena berbagai hal gw baru mendarat di bandung sekitar pukul 20:00. KALOK ga ada DRAMA kunci kosan ketinggalan, waktunya sebenarnya masih agak cukup untuk pesen dominos dan pesen abang gojek buat nganter ke GKI cibunut tempat latihan kami bersama.

drama kedua adalah, well, ini mengawali drama kunci kosan sik benernya, gw ga bawa CHARGER HENPON. jadi bgitu sadar kunci kosan beneran ga ada (adegan bongkar tas di luar pager kosan), gw ngetok" kosan, dibukain sama ongen, ada lah, doi kerja di garasi kosan gw, bikin studio gambar anak gitu. bisa masuk lah saya ke dalam rumah kosan saya tersebut.

orang pertama yang gw liat adalah mba putri. lalu gw pinjam lah charger si mba. nge-charge hp. binsar nanyain "lu di mana!" dan menawarkan jasa penjemputan. "bang! lu ada 100rb gak? pinjem buat beli pizza!" dan jadilah si abang binz ngambil duit duluk sebelum mendarat di kosan. oh ya, saya sempat bilang ke si abang kalau kunci kosan gw ntah di mana dan mungkin gw mesti nginep di nikla, anak arpeggio jugak. nikla ga keberatan.

saat gw selanjutnya golar goler di lantai kosan gw sambil mesen dominos large 5 kotak, astri keluar dari kamarnya. "geb, lu kenapa?" "kunci kosan gue ketinggalaaaannn di jakartaaaaaa" "eh bentar! lu kan sempet kasih duplikat kunci lo ke gw dan gw taro kantor! bentar gw telpon orang kantor."

dan ada orang di kantor astri! secepat kilat beliau ke kantornya dan dapatlah saya si kunci duplikat kamarku itu huhuhuhuw :'') singkat cerita abang binz datang, pizza datang, kami meluncur ke cibunut, dan TADAAAA!!!! kami baru makan setengah sepuluh malam. maaf ya abang kakak :'')

kalau yang ini adalah rekan rekan SMA saya yang masih bertahan, uwuu

lalu, sekitar hmm... 2 minggu lalu? gw ngumpul bareng valdano, junes, dan raisa. mestinya ada andre, tapi andrenya ntah ada apa saat itu, huf!

mereka adalah teman" sma saya, deketnya gara" rokris, dan entah kenapa kalau kami bicara itu ngalor ngidul sana kemari yang ujung"nya cuma ketawa" ga penting. asli. gw masih bingung sebenarnya kalau main sama mereka itu ketawanya sejatinya karena apa. sayang kemaren andre ga ada. sumber ketertawaannya biasanya kalo ga junes, ya andre.

makan makan tolol dengan obrolan serius, lalu raisa mesti pulang duluan karena beliau sudah jadi istri orang, lalu dilanjutkan dengan "ngopi yuk" yang berganti menjadi "hmm.. pada mau wine gak?" ditutup dengan "on me, deh!" dari valdano.

"kalo kita ngopi nih ya, mestinya jam segini kita udah balik!"

gilakkkkkk semua makin dekaaaaaaaat. gw udah ga tau sebenarnya gw excited, takut, senang, sedih, bahagia, atau apa. segala sesuatu yang fluktuatif itu pada akhirnya kalau di-rerata, ya, nol jugak. rata. bro. jadi..... segala sesuatu gw tanggapi dengan "rata" belakangan ini. agak.. sedih ya bok?

anw.. many things to go: olahan data terakhir buat BW, bagian buku GD'65, seminar kuliah abroad, training basarnas (kalau jadi), dan pertunjukan nino. jadi apa hal pertama yang akan kamu lakukan begitu sampek leeds, gab? TIDUR.

.....kalau ga disuru masuk kelas. nyahaha.

04 September 2016

tukang nebeng mobil orang tapi bayar

untuk kalian para pembaca setia, saya persembahkan sebuah tulisan yang sedikit lebih seru dan membahagiakan dibanding curhat maruhat saya belakangan ini. this is my #respect to you guys #asik karena buat nulis ini butuh niat, dan niatnya udah dari lamaaaaaa tapi ga ketulis-tulis :'')

kali ini, gueeee mau memperkenalkan sebuah platform yang berjudul Blablacar!

iklannya blablacar. asli ini prancis banget. ngasal, sok lucu, berantakan. kalau di otak kalian prancis itu elegan syalala, kalian SALAH!

blablacar itu apa sih?

gw mengenal platform ini pertama kali dalam nama "covoiturage" yang kalau di-translate, kira"... hmmm.. co-voitur(e)-age. "voiture" itu artinya mobil. "co-" itu, ya ngertilah yaa.. kayak co-founder, co-director, dan co- co- lainnya. semacam berbagi gitu lah yaa. nah kalau "age" itu semacam kata sifat. jadi simply covoiturage itu pada dasarnya adalah "berbagi mobil."

kenapa berbagi? karena.. bensin mahal :'')

selain bensin mahal, kereta cepat pun kadang ga efektif, karena kalau dari kota kecil ke kota kecil, terutama yang beda propinsi, itu bisa mesti singgah dulu ke ibu kota propinsi masing" baru ke kota yang lebih kecil itu. dan tentu ini membuat harga kereta, walau udah dipotong student discount, tetap mihillls. daaaan, kalau keadaannya adalah mepet, alias ga sempet pesen tiket kereta dari jauh hari (di prancis tiket hari-h sama mesen dari lama bisa beda jauh), blablacar bisa jadi penyelamat!

sistemnya simpel. kita tinggal daftar, kayak daftar facebook gitu lah. bikin profile, verify profile yang intinya adalah nyocokin nomor hp sama profile kita benar synchronized, kasih data kita hanya tertarik utk jadi "penumpang" atau juga untuk "memberi tumpangan," serta data kartu. enaknya, di prancis itu kartu debitnya bisa digunakan layaknya kartu kredit, jadi selama ada duit di rekening, kita bisa pesen ini itu online, gampang kan! gw rasa umumnya di eropa pun sistemnya seperti ini.

nah, lalu, baru deh cari. kita dari mana, mau ke mana, kapan. oh ya, ada preferensi khusus juga, misalnya, seberapa talkactive kita (ada tiga level: Bla, Blabla, dan Blablabla), keberatan sama rokok/binatang apa ngga, prefer sama cewe/cowo/apa aja hajar, gitu" jadi potensi ribut tengah jalan karena hal" kecil ini sudah ke-prevent. lalu ntar nongol tuh, drivernya siapa aja yang akan berangkat, jam berapa aja, dan kita bisa cocokin waktu serta budget. biasanya sih gw cari yang paling murah dulu hehe, jam mah bisa lah disesuaikan, asal ga nyusahin, males juga kl nyampek tempat tujuan cem jam 2 dini hari kan -___-

simply, kita bayar sejumlah uang sesuai dengan permintaan si pemberi tumpangan (misal, brest-nantes itu sekitar 15 euro) dan kl ga salah 20% buat blablacarnya (nambah 3 euro lagi), jadi total bayar 18 euro utk trayek tersebut, dengan waktu tempuh 3-4 jam. nah, kalau trayek ini kita hajar pake kereta, harganya paaaaling murah itu 40 euro, mesti transit di kota besar yang namanya rennes utk pindah kereta, dan bisa makan waktu 4-5 jam! lumayan jauh kan!

yang bikin seru dari blablacar, atau memang saya ini jiwanya kompetitif sekali, ada levelnya!

ini track record saya, cuma 1,5 tahun efektif pemakaian platform ini dan udah sampek level 5! #proud

sepenting apa sih level ini? kok gw sampe sebangga itu? wah, kalo gw bilang, level itu PENTING BANGET!

kenapa? karena setiap kita selesai mobilan bareng, kita wajib saling ngasih rate. gw penumpang yang seperti apa (at least pake bintang skala lima, lebih baik kalau komen sebaris dua baris gitu), dan si pemberi tumpangan itu pengemudi yang seperti apa. makin tinggi level kita, makin gampang kita dapet tumpangan dan/atau penumpang. dan ini penting, terutama buat foreigner macam saya :'') ini penilaian levelnya, tapi ya, bahasa prancis sik, maap, saya jelasin singkat di caption ;p

biasanya sih begitu sekali make, dapet satu komen aja, udah bisa naik level satu ke dua. penilaian ini berdasarkan verifikasi email, kelengkapan profil (foto, preference, nomor hp, dll.), peniliaian positif (di atas bintang tiga), persentase penilaian positif, serta berapa lama kita sudah menggunakan platform ini

gw sendiri biasanya memilih pemberi tumpangan yang at least udah confirme, alias, level tiga, dan bintangnya minimal 3.5 gitu. komen"nya juga pada gw bacain dulu hahaha. ya males aja ribut di jalan. the least thing you wanna do with french people is to have a fight with them. seriously.

selama pake blablacar, gw ketemu orang asli macem". dari mahasiswa, pegawai air traffic di airport, mba" tukang clubbing, pemadam kebakaran yang anaknya lucunya astaga, semacam polisi atau apa pun itu (pokonya tampan) yang dibarengi dengan seorang penumpang yang baru putus sama pacarnya (tampan juga), wah, seru lah! di jalan kita bisa ngobrol macem", dan asli, orang prancis itu seeeeneeeng banget ngobrol. sampe sekarang cuma sekitar hmmm... 3 kali lah, gw dapet pengemudi dan penumpang yang garing, yang satu krn gw dan penumpang lain itu jadi kambing congek mas mba yang pacaran di kursi depan (kalo pengemudi ga ajak ngobrol, penumpang cenderung ga mau ngobrol satu sama lain juga, biar kata demen ngobrol mereka juga tau manner hehe), dan yang dua karena memang si bapak pengemudi menjadikan trayeknya sebagai bisnis (mobilnya kyk mobil travel yang bisa isi 6-10 orang gitu).

satu momen menarik yang pernah gw alami dengan blablacar adalah, saat itu gw mesti transit di paris dulu sebelum lanjut ke selatan, tepatnya ke montpellier. tiket kereta harganya udah ga ada yang bersahabat (karena saat itu gw beraangkat sehari telat dari rencana, karena urusan kuliah), jadilah gw browsing blablacar. berhubung gw mesti sampe parisnya jam 9-10an, gw cari yang subuh donk. dan ga ada, huff. satu"nya yang ada itu ibu" umur 50an, yang pengen berangkat jam 8 malam, yang artinya, gw nyampe paris sekitar jam 2 dini hari. next choice itu berangkat baru jam 5 besokannya, yang artinya gw sampe paris udah siang. jadi..... gw beranikan ambil si ibu itu.

ibu ini ternyata bareng anaknya. anaknya autis, dan agak susah ngomong. tentu, anaknya duduk depan, dan gw kebetulan saat itu penumpang satu"nya. kita sempet ngobrol macem", setelah tiga jam pertama istirahat di salah satu stop, dan lewat stop itu gw mulai ga bisa nahan kantuk.

"kamu kalau ngantuk tidur aja. saya biasa kok bawa penumpang yang jam segini, dan saya ga keberatan kalau kamu tidur."

aaaa ibuuuuuu.... gw tetep berusaha nemenin ngobrol dan saat gw beneran udah ga kuat, gw pamit bobok.

"oh ya, sebelumnya, kamu mau saya turunin di mana? ga mungkin saya cuma naro kamu di lingkar luar, kita sampai paris mungkin sekitar setengah tiga."

aaaaaa padahal tadinya gw mau minta diturunin di lingkar luar aja, dan entah bagaimana gw mau coba survive sampe metro (kereta dalam kota) paris pertama nyala. gw puter otak, ga mungkin hubungin temen" gw tengah malem begini, dan muncullah ide..

"nanti antar saya ke kedubes indonesia aja bu, saya tau alamatnya."

dan yep, gw sampe kedutaan jam set3an. dadah dadah cipika cipiki sama si ibu, dan dengan pede mencet bel kbri karena berharap si mas yang gw kenal yang jaga (astaga mas ampuni aku lupa nama masssss). abis mencet bel, yang jaga muter kursi jadi menghadap gerbang, dan tebak apa... gw ga kenal sama bapak yang ini!

singkat cerita, kunci gerbang pertama di-release, dan..

"malam pak, saya gaby, yang biasa bantuin angklung di kbri. saya pikir yang jaga malam ini si mas (lupa nama maaf), jadi saya pede aja ke sini, hehe."

"si mas itu shift sore-nya senin-kamis, saya jumat-minggu."

"ooh, gitu pak. mmm, saya mahasiswa di brest pak. saya janjian sama temen saya jam 9-10an di paris buat lanjut ke montpellier. saya boleh ga numpang di sini, paling ngga sampe jam set6an gitu pak, pas udah ada metro. nemenin bapak ngobrol juga gapapa deh."

"kok bisa dateng jam segini kalau janjiannya masih jam 9-10an?"

"dapet covo-nya (mobil tebengan) cuma yang jam segini pak, yang selanjutnya saya bisa baru sampe paris jam 11-12an. ini aja dia baik banget mau nganter saya ke sini, ga cuma ngedrop di lingkar luar."

"hmmmm.. (agak lama) yaudah, kamu istirahat di dalem aja lah. ruang visa. di sini sampe jam 9 aja gapapa, saya pas ganti shift jam segitu. nanti pagi saya minta kopi paspor kamu juga ya, sebagai data aja takutnya ada apa-apa, karena sebenarnya saya ga bisa seenaknya ngasih ijin kamu masuk gini, tapi yaudahlah, daripada kamu di luar."

(bahagia) "waah bener pak? makasih bangeeet!"

lalu dibukain akses ke ruang visa, gelar sleeping bag, dan tidooooorrr!!! terima kasih blablacar! terima kasih kbri paris!

02 September 2016

balada calon pendidik


cerf-volant, volant au vent, ne t'arretes pas - les choristes

pernah nonton les choristes? kalau sudah, dan suka, pasti merinding lihat gambar di atas. kalau belum, saya akan cerita sedikit. tapi ini akan spoiler sekali, biar point-nya dapet. misal berminat nonton tanpa spoiler, tiga paragraf di bawah ga perlu dibaca.

**spoiler alert**

les choristes adalah film prancis yang belum terlalu lama, sekitar tahun 2004 produksinya. film ini bercerita tentang seorang guru musik yang diutus untuk mengajar di sebuah panti asuhan khusus lelaki. anaknya bandel". ga ada yang nurut. wajar lah ya, laki semua, masa puber, rusuh.

sampai suatu ketika dia menemukan metode, yang saya lupa bagaimana tepatnya, yang membuat mayoritas anak" itu jadi patuh dan mau nyanyi bareng" selaku paduan suara. dan di antara anak" itu, ada satu anak yang menonjol dan suaranya bagus banget. sempat ada konflik sedikit" antara si bapak guru dan si anak ini karena, sejak tau dia punya kelebihan, anak ini jadi sedikit songong dan seenaknya.

namanya orang baik, tetep aja, ada yang ga suka. lagi" gw lupa bagaimana tepatnya, si bapak ini akhirnya diberhentikan dari tugas mengajarnya. drama banget deh. anak" yang udah jadi murid"nya bela"in biar si bapak ga pergi, tapi karena keputusan yayasan sudah seperti itu, anak" ini dikurung di kelas, dikunciin, biar si bapak ini bisa melengang pergi tanpa beban moral. pas si bapak lagi jalan ke luar panti, terdengar suara anak" itu lagi pada nyanyi dan pesawat" kertas beterbangan dari jendela kelas. isinya.. surat. surat dari mereka masing" untuk si pak guru :')

**spoiler alert selesai**

gw habis bicara" banyak sama beberapa teman yang... gw ga sesering itu bicara sama mereka. setahun ini kerasa banget, banyak banget perubahan yang terjadi pada pemikiran gw. soal idealisme, cita", masa depan, pandangan orang, keinginan pribadi, keinginan orang lain, well... simply, gw baru melihat kehidupan yang sebenarnya itu seperti apa, ya, selepas gw S2 kemarin ini. kalau gw S2 langsung S3, mungkin ga akan gini" amat kali ya keruwetan pikiran gw.

pilihan hidup yang sudah gw tetapkan jadi goyah, sementara yang gw jalani pun kadang jadi setengah hati. di satu sisi gw merasa seperti ga bersyukur, di sisi lain gw memaki "apa sih, gab cita cita lo?" karena hidup bisa simpel aja kok ya dibikin ribet. sok" butuh tantangan, meh. di sisi lain, apa yang gw dapat itu sudah versi terbaik dari angan angan gw. walau, yah, ada beberapa hal yang mesti gw bayar and it sucks. namun bukankah kesempurnaan itu tak pernah ada?

gw pengen jadi pendidik dengan cita" tulus. gw senang mengajar, gw merasa sangat berguna ketika gw mengajar, dan gw merasa pekerjaan ini tepat sekali untuk seorang saya. setelah menjalani simulasi selama setahun, hmmm... menjadi pendidik di perguruan tinggi itu...... capek.

karena pekerjaannya bukan hanya mengajar. gw harus membelah diri untuk banyak kepentingan, yang jujur, makin ke sini gw rasa makin.... aduh, harus ya? sementara....... yah, kalau saya meracau bisa ke mana", tapi kalau mau dipermudah, effort yang gw keluarkan tidak sebanding dengan returnnya. karena perbandingan gw adalah rekan seumuran, jujur, gw merasa itu ga fair. bukannya kewajiban itu pada dasarnya berbanding lurus dengan hak?

but despite it all.. ketika gw inget lagi lagu ini, ketika gw masih juga deg"an ketika mesti ngajar di kelas, ketika gw bacain tugas kuliah anak", dan ketika gw nyidang orang...... gw tau, pengajar adalah tempat yang tepat untuk gw. gapapa lah, kerja serabutan, mungkin jungkir balik cari proyek sana sini dan ribut sama klien" yang otaknya ga sesuai income bulanan mereka nantinya... demi bisa ngeliat muka" plongo dengan berbagai simpanan pertanyaan di kelas, hingga raut ga bisa nahan tangis haru anak" yang akhirnya bisa lulus sidang. semua terbayar :')

23 Agustus 2016

bullet journal ala ala

apa yang baru saja saya lakukan? ini!



mengapa saya melakukannya? ntahlah, bosan :'') dan merasa makin banyak yang mesti dikerjain. slowly but slow. sloowwwww.

pengen cepet pergi tanpa urusan administrasi bisa ga sih, kak? :'')

22 Agustus 2016

manusia yang tak pernah puas

sekarang saya bilang saya pusing. saya muak. saya bosan. saya mau cepat pergi dan memulai hidup baru....

...apa hidup baru itu jaminan saya tidak akan pusing, muak, bosan, dan ingin cepat pergi lagi dan memulai hidup baru (lagi)? one thing i realized about real life though, it's all about how you make money to survive. oh, how i hate growing up, at some point.

18 Agustus 2016

elegi kemerdekaan

kemarin 17 agustus. yang adalah hari kemerdekaan indonesia, terima kasih pada bung karno, bung hatta, dan kawan" angkatan muda 71 tahun yang lalu. lucu ya. 17, 71. wkwk.

elegi yang ingin saya dendangkan ialah, mengenai apa yang di depan mata. bukan masa depan, karena semua sudah begitu dekat. bau busuknya pun sudah tercium, walau tak dapat mengalahkan wangi taman bunga poppy yang mendatangkan kantuk nyaman.

ay, poppy!

merdeka itu, adalah memilih. memilih mau hidup di mana, dengan siapa, dan bagaimana. namun kadang, kemerdekaan yang merupakan hak itu, nyatanya tidak dimiliki oleh semua orang. bukan karena tidak mau, melainkan, tidak bisa. tidak bisa, karena tidak tahu. jadi ragu. jadi takut.

gw ga mengatakan gw berani, tapi gw ini.. nekat hahaha. pantas ibu saya berulang-ulang minta saya kawin, karena kawin nyatanya ialah perihal kompromi. kompromi waktu, cita-cita, tenaga. kompromi jadi sulit ketika dua insan yang berusaha menyatu sama" doyan ngitung, haha.

gw tau ga seharusnya gw merisaukan masa depan. cuma Tuhan yang tau dan gw tinggal navigate. ga perlu bicara soal burung di udara dan bunga di taman, saya masih dikasih napas pun saya sudah bersyukur. tapi soal perjodohan, saya ini memang tolol hahaha.

tebak sudah berapa lubang saya masuki? tebak berapa kali saya jatuh? tebak, yang satu ini hanya lubang, atau memang rumah?

kadang saya mencaci diri sendiri: apa susahnya cari yang mudah? kenapa senang mempersulit diri? kenapa nyaman dengan yang tak aman? dari pilihan pekerjaan, tempat tinggal, hingga keinginan berkeluarga. kenapa tidak jadi normal? kenapa harus di luar kebiasaan?

saya lupa kapan terakhir kali hidung mampet bukan karena pilek. pula lupa kapan terakhir kepala sakit bukan karena butuh parasetamol. sayangnya lagi, saya sudah tidak bisa membedakan. mana yang akan abadi, dan mana yang akan terlupakan.

12 Agustus 2016

iseng buka earthworks..


PhD Position in Geodynamic / Petrological modeling

on intraplate volcanism in the Atlantic



...

...

yasudalahya :'')

at least hal ini meyakinkan bahwa, masih ada jalan, kaks :')

10 Agustus 2016

update - future - balalalaaa

since this blog emang udah ga punya arah dan udah jadi semacam public diary gue, meh, mari bercerita tentang akhir penantian yang menyebabkan adanya pos pos beberapa hari belakangan ini. yang cuma sebaris sebaris. yang sok sok poetic tapi mah enggak. yah. you know what i mean lah kakak kakak.

let's start with life update. what have i done in (almost) one year.

funny thing tho, i've just had a talk with my mom and we have decided that i'll be flying on the 25th. of september, yes. not august, september. and you know what, last year, i landed at jakarta on the 24th! crazy huh? jadi yep, pas setahun aing pulang lalu aing pergi deui. not bad but not that good either. asikasik joss.

kalau sesuai rencana, mestinya gw hanya pulang bulan september itu, dan antara januari-maret gw udah kuliah lagi. namun jadwalku bergeser jaaaaaauh sekaleey :''') jadilah baru setahun kemudian aku kuliah lagi. but it was a year well spent, i guess. mari dimulai. september ga diitung lah ya, karena ya aku kan mendarat sept akhir bengets getohhh.

2015/2016 HIGHLIGHTS!

oktober: pertama kalinya aku ngajar di kampus, wuhu! mahasiswa pertamaku ialah mahasiswa teknik geodesi dan geomatika itb angkatan 2013. lima tahun di bawah akoh, jadi waktu akoh mulei S2, mereka mulei kuliah di itb. uguk.

november: this month's crazy because, 1) i co-trained basarnas bareng pak pur dan mgs selama seminggu. out of expectation, it was fun! 2) ku jalan jalan sama kaka dias dan kaka dito random ke flores dan komodo lanjut jogja bareng koko abet bahkan ratih lanjut bandung! 3) sepulang dari jalan" rusuh, gw langsung bantu ngedanlap di praktikum hidro 1-nya anak" 2013! with kak mus dan kak yudo as bonus! UWO!

praktikum hidro satu @pulau pramuka! sapa sangka bisa 'kerja' bareng mus dan yudo (lagi)! wuhu!

desember: I (re)-MOVED IN TO BANDUNG! thanks to adeknya mus yang ternyata pas bangettss baru keluar bandung :'') shortly I re-worked at BW while still volunteering my time for ITB. hahaey. oh, and I had an amazing time hosting one of my church's christmas thing with my brother. yeay.

januari: I joined arpeggio choir! my new new new family!

februari: kelas inspirasi bandung 4!

kelompok 48 dapet bonus: masuk koran pikiran rakyat! hahay! thanks to teh ndit yang ngirim, kalo ga salah mah yak lol.

maret: 1) YSEALI Oceans Workshop di Jekardah dengan dedek dedek se-ASEAN! uwuu. first time i brought hydrography to a whole new audience! 2) konser paskah bareng arpeggio. uwuuu :3

itu aku! itu akuuuu!!

paskahan bersama arpeggio. pertama kalinya ku dandan tuk manggung :'')

april: 1) after such long conversations and administrative stuff, i was finally on board with pak purbo, ajeng, and MGS for an underwater archaeology mission! wuhu! 2) i assisted another praktikum, that time, it was hydrography two! 3) aing jadi asisten akademik resmi! wahu!

my first ever offshore work for research needs! ahuw!

mei: 1) aku bikin blog baru. ahaey! 2) one nite stand bersama kaka dias koko abet dan kaka dian yang berlanjut hingga kini menjadi friends with benefit a.k.a FWB. terima kasih kepada daus dan meisa yang menikah di bulan di mana dias dan abet lagi sama sama ga di lapangan.

sekali lagi, blog baru saya, yang lebih serius:

juni: since ga ada tuntutan apa" dari kampus (lagi libur euy) nor BW (lagi ada projek yang masih jalan di lapangan jadi timbang nunggu weh), ku jajalan sama nino ke vietnam! tight budget ditambah donasi sukarela dari ibunda :*

juli: di akhir juli.. saat keputus-asaan mulai timbul.. saat aku udah chaapekkk.. KU DAPAT BEASISWA LPDP (lagi)! kali ini wat S3! wuhu!

agustus dan september menyusul yaks. tapi harapannya adalah, agustus wawancara visa, september dapet visa, september terbang ke inggris, sisanya Tuhan yang atur. dan sebenernya kepengen euy nyanyi bareng arpeggio lagi tanggal 24 september, huft. moga pemberkatannya pagi. jadi bisa balik jekardah. ultahan tante iin dll. besokannya mumudahan dapet tiket flight yang waktunya cucok.

MARI LIHAT DAN MARI CEK VISA DAN CARI APARTEMEN (dan ngerjain utang ini itu dari kampus, BW, dan lainnya wkkk)

terima kasih, Tuhan. maafin aku yang masih suka mager"an. aku kan juga butuh bobok, ya, Tuhan, ya? ini aku baca ulang hidupku setahun ke belakang aja capeknyaaaa :'') tetap semangat menghadapi anak-Mu yang banyak mau ini. hehe.
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